It's mid-morning now, something that has become quite familiar to me as a college student. I've had countless all-nighters, many late night movies, and no boyfriends. This is how I like it, no matter how much I seem to deny it sometimes. Like most college students, I have learned to open up and explore new things in the world to discover who I want to become. I already know who I am; the title of my blog means "I am a daughter of God," and I firmly believe that to be true. Over the past year or so I have had alot of good experiences that I don't feel have all been shared or even written in my journal, so hopefully this might help me keep track of my life (we'll just see how it goes). Among those things I have graduated high school, come to college and met some of my very best friends in the world. I have broken into locked closets and houses (my own) and fished for shoes using a hanger and a straightener cord. I have stolen bedroom doors (NOT my own ;) ), moved more times within seven months than I have in my entire life, and above all I am learning how to deal with failure.
I do not always see the Lord's reason for why things happen the way they do, especially now at this crucial time in my life where every decision can directly affect my future. But when I do have those aha moments, more often than not it is because I see the love that I have from my friends, family, and Heavenly Father. Today, for instance, at the close of the semester, my home teachers wrote me a final letter of encouragement. They shared a scripture and a thought that I found particularly special to me because of recent and past events.
" 'If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from thy hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up' (Daniel 3:17-18). The 'but if not' response is one that we also need in our lives. We all have 'but if not' moments- times when despite all we may do, things may not go our way. We may try out best and do all we can with all our faith, but it just might not happen. Just because things don't work out the way we want, doesn't mean they won't work out the right way. In out 'but if not' moments, we can always know that the Lord knows us and knows what we can be."
Yep. That's right. I have the best home teachers ever. It is because of these moments- and of course the fact that I truly do love them- that I feel that I have been blessed with such wonderful friends and family. Sometimes I wish I could say or do something that could show how much I really do care, but that's kind of the point. I believe that love, especially love with the Spirit, is truly such a powerful and inexpressable gift from God. Only those who love us in return can begin to comprehend how we feel about them. That is why I believe that we only understand a small inkling of God's love for us. Sometimes we lose track in our "but if not" moments, but when we return to Him and express to Him our love and desire for all things good, that is when we begin to feel the fulness of His love.
Anyway, it is still mid-morning, rapidly approaching dawn, and this girl ought to study a bit more and grab a couple hours of sleep.
Arrivederla,
Kimberlee
Too true!!! It really seems that once you get into high school, every decision is crucial to the rest of your life, or even eternity. Shortly after I got engaged, I expressed to some friends "I don't know how in the world other people make decisions like this without believing in personal revelation!" And that is how I feel about just about anything major. We've lived several years in the "but if not" stage and finally my husband got into a grad program that he is passionate about. You are absolutely right, instead of getting upset at God, we need to turn to Him and let Him make us even better. Sorry....long winded there...what can you expect, I'm a flute player!
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