My Road Not Taken

I promise I did not forget about my blog! This past month just been riddiculously crazy. Among other things, I visited my family in Idaho, had my wisdom teeth removed, attended two of my sister's bridal showers, rode (past tense of ride?) in an ambulance with my youngest brother (everything's fine now :) ) came back to Provo, and job searched my guts out. I'm just grateful that I no longer have classes to add to the pile.... for now at least.
So in searching for a job this summer I have also been searching myself. First, I needed to make a resume (I don't know how to do those accents over the "e" yet). I compliled a list of everything I have ever done, as instructed by my ward employment specialist. I used to be somewhat proud about the fact that I have done nearly everything from weed mapping to fast food to teacher's assistant. Now, however, I realized that with no specific specialties or certifications that I am just an average Jane and just like anyone else is looking for some extra cash this summer. And with the supposed economy down- which I think is TOTALLY bogus and in the minds of Americans so if we just get our attitude and act together things would be JUST FINE- businesses are cutting back. Students, particularly college students, are staying in Utah fearing that if they give up their job for the summer they may not get it back in the fall. And then there's the fact that I waited two weeks after the semester to officially hand in many of my applications. It was during those two weeks that I believe I felt the sickest and most awful in my entire life. I had all four impounded wisdome teeth removed. I was starving and felt sick to my stomach because I couldn't eat enough to settle the medicine that was supposed to be taken with food. But I was afraid of throwing up because my sister, who had the same thing done just a month before, got a dry socket and was out sick for longer because the acid got into the wrong places in her mouth and made things worse. My cheeks were so swollen that I bit them and made them bleed when they were still numb. I really hope that technology speeds up, because if I EVER have to go in for mouth surgery or anything again, I would almost insist on morphine or SOMETHING to never feel that way about anything else for as long as I shall live. We'll see how childbirth goes.
Anyway, probably too much information there for ya, so back to my job. Resume complete, hair pulled back and dress pants on, I go biking and walking and bussing through center street, the malls, to Utah work services, and anywhere I think I might have a chance. More often than not I get a nope, we're not hiring. I began taking applications from the places anyway, knowing that if they did get in the hiring mood again they would have me right there. For two or three weeks, no luck, no calls. Actually even a few calls that say, thanks for your interest, but we're not hiring. We'll keep hold of your resume though! Bummed. So I call my mom, keeping her updated on the hunt and it's prospects, and we decide that I best move home. Dad has a friend whom I used to work for that I could get on with again, and there's always Rupe's, the restaurant I worked at in high school and even some over the holidays. So that's it. I'm moving home. Not gonna lie, I cried. I have friends here, I have a life here, and I have options. More than back home at least. So I call up those two places, and, being the nicer small town people they are, both said they would love to hire me. Unfortunately, my dad's friend (actually the weed-mapping job) said that he didn't know if he could afford to pay the ones he's got already, and Rupe's just hired three new workers and are full for the summer. Yep. Another strike. Instead of being home and jobless, I decide to stay in Provo, jobless.
Searching again in Provo, I go to the malls again, and even hit a few stores I hadn't before. At this point, I am desperate. I do get a few prospects! I took an application for a jewelry store and a games shop and some apparel places. A couple (including the jewelry shop) look pretty optimistic. I'm still waiting for those calls, but I know it is Memorial Day weekend....
Third part. Vancouver, Washington. I have an aunt and uncle who are remodling a good portion of their home. Mostly the kitchen, guest room, and yard. With my aunt expecting (which I JUST BARELY found out through all of this...) they thought it would be nice to have some extra help around to take care of kids and help with the projects. It's only a couple of weeks, but hey, it's a job! I must say that I am greatly looking forward to it. I haven't seen them in ages because they live so far away. And I will get to ride a plane! I haven't been on a plane since I was eight years old. Teehee... Anyway, talking to them today about my grim prospects with great hope, my uncle does mention that I maybe, MAYBE could get a well-paying job there in Vancouver for the whole summer. This, however, is still just maybe news. But I would quite enjoy a summer in the exotic far away place of Washington....
So, Provo, Idaho, Washington. All in search for a job. Where will I end up? I know not. But through all of this I have been praying alot, writing in my journal alot, and even reading some old journals in my spare time. I have recently filled another and I can't believe how much I have changed. My thoughts are definitely different along with my priorities, but my mind is the same: random and somewhate scattered. But thorough. At least I like to think so. And, as clearly evident here, I like to write. Alot. especially when I've got something on my mind. I tend to say what I think and say before I think. Therefore, I write what I think and often write before I think as well. I should work on that. It's not just once that my serious sanity is questioned. Still, I don't know where I'll go or what I will do or become. But, recently after reading the book of Ruth, I come to the famous scripture:

"...Intreat me not to leave the, or to return from the following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God."

So I don't know if it really matters where I go just so long as I am faithful and go with God as Ruth does with pure intent of heart. My favorite follow up scripture comes from the next chapter as Boaz is talking to Ruth:

12 "The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust."

I love this because it shows the blessing that Ruth is given because of her dedication among other things. This woman is my scripture hero. Later she becomes an ancestor to King David and even Christ Himself. Faith like hers, I don't know if there is any greater, but some just as equal. Right now, I suppose I am having a string of "but if not" moments. It's things like this though, that teach me something. I'll be the first to admit that legally I am an adult, but I am still growing up. I don't see anything wrong with that. And as long as I am with God and have faith that He will guide me te become what I need to become, I'll be happy wherever I go and with whatever it is I shall do.