My Guy

I've been told that you only marry the guys that you date. I'm here to say that I really hope I don't because I've been dumped by nearly every one of them. Actually, with only one exception, and I have my suspicions about him anyway. And then there's those lists that we make in young womens about characteristics we want in a husband, usually consisting of "worthy priesthood holder, loves the gospel, temple recommend holder, wants a family..." Back when I thought that was all it took. Not to say that these aren't important, because I DEFINITELY want all of them, but what about forgiving? understanding? patient? and for one, how about being faithful in the biblical sense, as in not even waiting around with you to just dump you for something he thinks is better? Someone who builds you up and can bring you down to earth when you're having a meltdown, and someone who wants to call on you first when he needs help? Just for starters. Among other things he also needs to have some musical capabilities. At least my man does.

Someone told me once that every relationship you start is basically a contract for failure because only one of them works out in the end. So far I have found this to be true. And I have been told time and time again that I just need to wait and be patient. Am I looking to get married right now? Well, I'm not dating just for the sake of dating anymore, and if the opportunity happens to arise then I suppose I will make the right choice. But I know that I have ALOT of my life ahead of me and I'm only 20. Shoot, ONLY 20!!! But it still sucks, considering the number of relationships I've been in, and every single one of them ends in an ugly crash. And I've been told a number of times that I come off as scary. Heck yes I'll be scary if I find out that you want to make out with me, but you're not sure that you want to date me, just be friends. I'll be frustrated if you tell me that I'm just your starter or tester relationship just after you got home from your mission. And I just might explode if I find out that you lied to me point blank when I asked if you were seeing her again. Oh, and I might not find it funny if you threaten to make my life miserable if I break up with you, and then you end the relationship and still continue to tell people that I stalk you in a car that, mind you, has been collecting dust and bird poop in my driveway for the past four months. Is there any good way to end a relationship? I don't know. But there are some better than others.

I think it's because I like to make up my mind and know things. Have a question, find the answer. I ask myself, "Do I like the guy that I am currently dating?" Yes. So I like him completely and I want to get to know him, I want to spend time with him. Not obsessive amounts of time, but hey, I like the guy!

Am I looking for Mr. Perfect? No. I'm not. Part of developing relationships is learning on how to grow from each other's strengths and love the weirdness. I'd like to be with someone who sometimes likes that I clean the kitchen at midnight and thinks I'm beautiful even just after I blow my hair dry, or can at least laugh at it with me.

So, for the men out there: make up your mind about girls and who you want to date. Treat her right and be genuinely interested. Respect doesn't just mean that you don't swear around her or hit her. For my former boyfriends: I don't hate people. Waste of thought on something I can't change. This is just a statement from a currently disgruntled and discouraged girl. We all are like this from time to time. And for the rest of you, hopefully this gave you something to think about, maybe a laugh, maybe you can relate more than you thought. Married ones, don't tell me that I just have to wait for the right guy and he'll come along and be wonderful. I have faith that it will happen. There's just no harm in saying how I feel about it from time to time.

I will be

Well traveled. First stop, Wicked on Broadway in New York City. This I will do within a year. I’ve been waiting for nearly eight years; I’ve been discouraged far too many times. Then, I want to see the rest of the world, starting with Italy.

I will be

The most imperfect person you will ever meet. I don’t make mistakes on purpose, but I have come to accept that I make a lot of them despite my efforts. I talk too loud, too fast, I am easily distracted. Just for starters.

I will be

Insane. Well, I can check this one off the list. “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” –Dr. Seuss. There's also a quote by Marilyn Monroe: "Madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

I will be

Classy. I will learn the art of being calm and composed under any and all circumstances. I will learn to be the supporter of persons around me, most importantly to my family. I will learn how to focus and organize my thoughts when called upon. This is the mom paragraph.

I will be

The absolute best at something. Every time I find something I love, I find myself of average quality to the world. It’s the love that I have for my life and for searching for happiness that makes me the absolute best at not discovering, but creating myself.

I will be

Exactly what someone is looking for. I’ve never been the one to give up on a relationship. When I make a commitment to a person, I do my best to keep any and all promises. I know what it’s like to feel as if you’re second priority to something like money or time. We are designed to need each other. We are designed to love each other.

I will be

Discouraged. Frustrated. Upset. And from time to time, very angry. When I can feel all of these and know how to find happiness again, I will be reminded of the Love of God in my life.

I will be

Remarkable. In the eyes of me, and in the eyes of God.

“Punchinello laughed. ‘Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?’ Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. ‘Because you are mine. That's why you matter to me.’ ”-You are Special by Max Lucado