In.Credible.

At approximately 12:45pm mountain daylight time, the phone rang. As a girl walks from the lobby into the kitchen area, she is informed that this particular phone call is for her. The receiver is in hand. Undecipherable screaming is coming from the other line, and is exchanged in the like manner, no translation needed. Tears stream. Breathing becomes difficult. Heart races. It finally came.

"Are you okay? You look like you just won the Miss America pageant!"

"I pretty much did," she said, "my mission call came!"

True story. And I would like to thank everyone. All the support, pep talks, patience, and great advice... it all is greatly appreciated. I opened my mission call at 4:00pm this afternoon with family gathered in the front room and other family on speaker phone. I will be reporting to the Tennessee Nashville Mission on May 25, 2011 to the Provo MTC.

FAQ:

So what did you think when you found out it was Nashville?

---Wow. NO ONE called that. Totally unexpected.

Do you like country music?

---Not really. I will listen to some, but it is not my first personal preference. At all.

What language?

---English speaking. Well, the call said English. However, I am told that southern is kind of foreign. K.C. says that all I need to know how to say is, "I tehll yeeeww whut!"

What are your thoughts and feelings?

---I think I'm experiencing a little bit of emotional overload. Suuuppppper happy, excited, anxious, excited, grateful, excited, humbled, excited, relieved, and excited!

What do your parents think?

--- I can't tell who is more excited: me or them. Pretty sure it's me though.

"Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." D&C 18:10

All I Need

CAUTION: Contains super cheesiness. But I believe that just because something is cheesy doesn't make it untrue.

I am so wonderfully happy that I have many moments when I want to cry, sing, or dance in the streets (and there are many times that I do- just ask my coworkers). I am going on a mission to find my brothers and sisters and bring them to the gospel. They know it! They know it so much; it's merely been forgotten as part of the Plan of Happiness. I get to help them remember and build upon one of the most important, if not THE most important thing one can have in this life and the next: a relationship with Heavenly Father.

As a human being, I am beautifully imperfect. I have wants and wishes, and although I am anxiously awaiting my mission call, I still think of my life and what it is that I am making of it and what I want to make it. One of my greatest wishes is to fall in love. Everyone has a theory of what love is and what love means. My view is... well, a long explanation. Suffice it to say that you can't be truly in love without the Spirit of the Lord. But right now, especially in light of tomorrow's holiday, I couldn't be happier to know that I am loved by my family, friends, and of course my Savior and Heavenly Father.

I hope you know how much you are loved, for you truly are.

Happy Valentine's Day

I solemnly swear that I am up to... something great ;)

2010. I have probably received more strange looks in this past year than any other, and that is saying something. It has been so wonderful in so many ways and also one of the most difficult for me as well. I haven't been at school. I decided to take a little hiatus and get my life together financially, emotionally, and for health reasons. I am now working a total of nearly 60 hours a week. Being home again and for so long was completely unexpected by me, my parents, and my close friends and family. And if only I had a nickel for every time someone asked or thought I was going to BYUI.... (Not to discredit BYUI in any respect at all; it is a fabulous school, but it is not where I personally felt I needed to go. That's another story.) Now, for quite some time, I have been so looking forward to going back and attending classes in Provo Utah.

But I'm not going.

Part of me is really quite sad about it. I'm going to miss my friends, and I had some classes I was really looking forward to taking. However, not quite a month ago, I had a very unique experience. Definitely a life-changing experience. To give you all the plain and simple, sweet and beautiful truth:

I AM GOING ON A MISSION!!! I have turned in all of my papers, the only thing I have left is an interview with my stake president and then it's all off to Salt Lake and I am hoping to have my call within the next three weeks!

Just thought you should know :)

Post, I call this one. Post.

I want to share a story about my summer and early fall. It is partly about me, partly about another person. I want to share this because I feel like my blog is a kind of journal and place to post things that I want others to see, but also for me to reflect. However, there are some personal things that I will refrain from saying and posting for this one.

Actually, it begins in early spring. I had to come home early from school. I was having serious problems with my depression, looking more and more like bipolar, and handling medication and school. It was the best thing at the time and I was very strongly impressed that it would be the best decision. However, I was extremely angry at myself for not being able to fix my problems. I was frustrated with God that, after I had tried and tried for such a long time, I had not yet found a solution, nor had He yet shown me how this would in any way help me and strengthen my life. I was also angry at people who judged me for the choice I made.

I remember vividly praying one night for Heavenly Father to send me someone. I needed a friend. I needed someone to help me to be happy. A friend, or even significant other, that I could learn to love. I needed to feel love in my life. I was able to recognize that was something I couldn't do at the time. I was so void of any emotion I could not even cry, even when I tried to make the tears come because I wanted to feel something.

It was only a matter of days, I kid you not, days, that I became much closer to someone I had only recently met and did not know much about. This person was well-liked by everyone that I talked to that knew this person. I was very impressed. One particular day, we struck up a conversation on a more personal level and found a few not-so-common common interests. I was even more impressed. You could say shocked. I didn't expect this person to be like that. More and more over the next few days and months, we talked and found fun in sharing our interests and talents with each other. I quickly began to trust this person. I loved everything I learned about this person, even some things that might bother other people. After we would hang out, I came home in a good mood.

Like in most friendships, there were some unfortunate things that happened. Still on trial and error from medications, my moods were all over the place. I was still to a large degree feeling so awful that I didn't care how I made other people feel for the most part. Misery loves company kind of concept... But I am to blame. Not my medication. I felt incredibly ....humbled. when this person continued to accept me and be my friend and be there for me. I couldn't recall that kind of character in many people in my life. Not many at all. Maybe three.

Unfortunately, this person's life was not peechie keen either. I have my suspicions and concerns that this person was dealing with some problems similar to mine, though I didn't want to say so out loud. Among other things, I kept wondering how I could be of some help, why perhaps our friendship wasn't as strong as it had been before, and why certain things were done and said. I turned to God and to another person for some help. I cared so much about this friend that I had, in my perception, prayed to Heavenly Father to send to me. And there was some fear and pride in me still. I didn't want to lose the happiness that this person added to my life. I didn't want to go back to how I was before, not being able to talk to others like I did now, not having the other relationships I dared take a risk on to nurture. Not being as confident.

The friendship I have had with this person has continues to go up and down. I am sad to say that now it is on a down. And it's my fault. People on the outside can place most or at least half the blame on my friend, but the truth, because of what I know, it's my fault. And I can't say sorry because those are just words, very empty words at times. But I do not know what to say to this person, except that I wish. I WISH that you knew what you really have done for me. This is only part of my view. But you have been in many ways, believe me or not, the hand of the Lord shaping me to who I need to be and teaching me what I should be learning right now, maybe not from books, but about being a person. Remarkable and Amazing don't even begin to describe how much I know you are. I pray for you. Much love, to you, dear friend, I send for you.

"Who can say that I've been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good." -Wicked

Thought of the day...

On facebook, of all things, a dear friend of mine has posted on her profile, "Most people need more love than they deserve."

I'd like to modify that a little. Everyone should have more love than they deserve. After all, isn't that what Christ taught? "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you..." John 13:34. Our goal is to become as He is. I want to love like He does.

God is Love. How much love have you had today? How much love have you shared today? How much of our Father in Heaven?

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30.

Always remember Him.

My Guy

I've been told that you only marry the guys that you date. I'm here to say that I really hope I don't because I've been dumped by nearly every one of them. Actually, with only one exception, and I have my suspicions about him anyway. And then there's those lists that we make in young womens about characteristics we want in a husband, usually consisting of "worthy priesthood holder, loves the gospel, temple recommend holder, wants a family..." Back when I thought that was all it took. Not to say that these aren't important, because I DEFINITELY want all of them, but what about forgiving? understanding? patient? and for one, how about being faithful in the biblical sense, as in not even waiting around with you to just dump you for something he thinks is better? Someone who builds you up and can bring you down to earth when you're having a meltdown, and someone who wants to call on you first when he needs help? Just for starters. Among other things he also needs to have some musical capabilities. At least my man does.

Someone told me once that every relationship you start is basically a contract for failure because only one of them works out in the end. So far I have found this to be true. And I have been told time and time again that I just need to wait and be patient. Am I looking to get married right now? Well, I'm not dating just for the sake of dating anymore, and if the opportunity happens to arise then I suppose I will make the right choice. But I know that I have ALOT of my life ahead of me and I'm only 20. Shoot, ONLY 20!!! But it still sucks, considering the number of relationships I've been in, and every single one of them ends in an ugly crash. And I've been told a number of times that I come off as scary. Heck yes I'll be scary if I find out that you want to make out with me, but you're not sure that you want to date me, just be friends. I'll be frustrated if you tell me that I'm just your starter or tester relationship just after you got home from your mission. And I just might explode if I find out that you lied to me point blank when I asked if you were seeing her again. Oh, and I might not find it funny if you threaten to make my life miserable if I break up with you, and then you end the relationship and still continue to tell people that I stalk you in a car that, mind you, has been collecting dust and bird poop in my driveway for the past four months. Is there any good way to end a relationship? I don't know. But there are some better than others.

I think it's because I like to make up my mind and know things. Have a question, find the answer. I ask myself, "Do I like the guy that I am currently dating?" Yes. So I like him completely and I want to get to know him, I want to spend time with him. Not obsessive amounts of time, but hey, I like the guy!

Am I looking for Mr. Perfect? No. I'm not. Part of developing relationships is learning on how to grow from each other's strengths and love the weirdness. I'd like to be with someone who sometimes likes that I clean the kitchen at midnight and thinks I'm beautiful even just after I blow my hair dry, or can at least laugh at it with me.

So, for the men out there: make up your mind about girls and who you want to date. Treat her right and be genuinely interested. Respect doesn't just mean that you don't swear around her or hit her. For my former boyfriends: I don't hate people. Waste of thought on something I can't change. This is just a statement from a currently disgruntled and discouraged girl. We all are like this from time to time. And for the rest of you, hopefully this gave you something to think about, maybe a laugh, maybe you can relate more than you thought. Married ones, don't tell me that I just have to wait for the right guy and he'll come along and be wonderful. I have faith that it will happen. There's just no harm in saying how I feel about it from time to time.

I will be

Well traveled. First stop, Wicked on Broadway in New York City. This I will do within a year. I’ve been waiting for nearly eight years; I’ve been discouraged far too many times. Then, I want to see the rest of the world, starting with Italy.

I will be

The most imperfect person you will ever meet. I don’t make mistakes on purpose, but I have come to accept that I make a lot of them despite my efforts. I talk too loud, too fast, I am easily distracted. Just for starters.

I will be

Insane. Well, I can check this one off the list. “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” –Dr. Seuss. There's also a quote by Marilyn Monroe: "Madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

I will be

Classy. I will learn the art of being calm and composed under any and all circumstances. I will learn to be the supporter of persons around me, most importantly to my family. I will learn how to focus and organize my thoughts when called upon. This is the mom paragraph.

I will be

The absolute best at something. Every time I find something I love, I find myself of average quality to the world. It’s the love that I have for my life and for searching for happiness that makes me the absolute best at not discovering, but creating myself.

I will be

Exactly what someone is looking for. I’ve never been the one to give up on a relationship. When I make a commitment to a person, I do my best to keep any and all promises. I know what it’s like to feel as if you’re second priority to something like money or time. We are designed to need each other. We are designed to love each other.

I will be

Discouraged. Frustrated. Upset. And from time to time, very angry. When I can feel all of these and know how to find happiness again, I will be reminded of the Love of God in my life.

I will be

Remarkable. In the eyes of me, and in the eyes of God.

“Punchinello laughed. ‘Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?’ Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. ‘Because you are mine. That's why you matter to me.’ ”-You are Special by Max Lucado

work in progress

Blog is currently under renovation. Working out the tweaks :)

Day Off

I love my job. We get told all the time that we serve the best burgers in Idaho Falls. If you haven't been, you MUST go to Five Guys Burgers and Fries and see for yourself. I work there usually five days a week, Tuesday through Saturday. So, today being Monday, was my day off.

I was up in the morning in good time and doing things. I realized that I needed to run some errands in IF and I decided to stop by work to make sure there were no surprises in my schedule this week. I made it my first stop.

As I am approaching (yes Brittany, I said APPROACHING) the front door, one of my friends and coworkers saw me and made some comment that if one more employee came in on his/her day off and ordered food she would have a cow. I thought it was kind of strange she said that until I saw why. I walked in and I could not believe it. I did not work at this place. Peanut shells everywhere, tables all askew. The garbage cans were so full that people were beginning to place their trash next to the cans. Standing room only. I have NEVER seen the place that full. Apparently they had been that busy all day with only three people working and two managers. There definitely should have been a full crew. Their attempts to call for help had failed because they couldn't get ahold of the general manager and assistant. Another one of my coworkers asked where we kept a certain item that I usually take care of and stock. Everyone was running so fast that I decided to just take care of it. Me in my flip flops and casual shirt. So I was stocking the small cups when I had guests (we don't refer to them as customers) started saying things like, "Oh, you're out of straws over here," and, "Do you have any lemons?" Before long I was handed an extra t-shirt and hat and I was at work. At first I was so incredibly overwhelmed that I didn't know where to start, but before long things did start to look a little better. I wish that I had taken before and after pictures for the full effect. They kept me there, working for five and a half hours in my flip flops. Really against the rules.

Strangely enough though, it made my day. Part of it was because I felt needed and that's always nice, but moreso I think because of something I was taught in church some time ago. I admit that today I was frustrated with personal matters and I was in no happy mood at all. Then I go into work and I see that I have nothing to complain about. It opened my eyes in a small way just for the moment. Also, I was reminded that hard work and a feeling of personal pride in my job really go far.

Can you hear me now? No? uh.... what do I say to that?

I'm not really accident prone; stuff just happens to everyone. These moments do keep life interesting.

My latest adventure was last night boating with the singles branch. I had never really been boating before, meaning I have been on a boat, but not riding behind one on a tube, so I was SUPER excited. I got there and almost immediately a friend and I put on life jackets, hopped on a tube, and held on for dear life. I soon discovered that it was harder to stay on the tube on the 'calm looking' water (not going with the boat) than the water trailing the boat. One time Jamie and I caught some serious air, but we held on. Sadly, the next time around, she didn't make it and fell off. The second go, I almost fell off, but I hung on and she bailed again. I felt as if I was a bad friend for not helping her :(

So the REAL challenge came when another friend of mine and I were behind our branch president's boat. He issued a challenge over the pulpit last Sunday basically saying that he could take us all out. I had already survived 2 wipe outs, and I wanted to go for the big league. Cassie and I had a bigger tube and we were behind a faster boat.

He started out slow to get us into the deeper water, then gunned it and we flipped around gliding (for lack of a better word; it wasn't smooth) across the water. This happened a few more times and then waves from other boats started interfering. The battle began. Cassie and I both made it over a few, but there was just the one that caught us off guard and Cassie bailed. Since Cassie weighed more than me (I'm just really small) I guess it offset the balance on the tube and I remember being ok for about five seconds, then her side of the tube flipped and I was underwater, still holding on until I thought "Hmm.... maybe I should let go." And I do remember thinking that. I was not going to be easily defeated.

I came up from under the water and I swear I have never been so dizzy in my life. In a very familiar place, I could not tell where at all I was The side of my head tingled and my ear hurt. I couldn't hear anything coming from the right side of my head. My depth perception was off. Weirdest feeling ever. President came over and asked what was wrong. Apparently I didn't look right. He had me move my neck around to make sure nothing like that was broken. I must have hit the side of my head on the water. When something like that happens, I'm not thinking about what position my body is in every millisecond.

Anyway, to make a long story shorter, my leaders took me to urgent care and I have nearly no right ear drum. The doctor isn't sure if it's gone or folded or shoved deeper into my ear. She can't even see the little bones. I get to see a specialist and have an ear patch. I'll be ok, and I have another cool story to add to my life!

"If you're one step short of crazy, what are you?" -"Obsessed?" -"Passionate."

Today I had something really neat happen. You might not see the big deal, but it actually meant alot to me. About a week ago, I went to the high school production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and I took a few moments to talk to some old friends, and then I spoke a moment with my old band teacher. I told her that I want and am willing to help out with the upcoming marching band season when and if she needed help. I did marching band for all four years of high school and for the last two I got to be the drum major, which for me was and in some ways still is a life-changing experience. I specifically volunteered for help at band camp if needed and that I was willing to help create and sew the color guard uniforms. But to my surprise, two days later, I got a text- not a phone call, but an actual text- from Mrs. Eddington asking if I would be willing to do a clinic for those intending to audition for the position of drum major. From the get-go I was very excited and I do feel kind of honored that she would ask me to do that, so I of course agreed. Last week a time, date, and place was set for the clinic.

This afternoon before the auditions I headed over to the high school to try and sell my old choir dress that's been hanging in my closet and to make sure that the high school would be open and available for the clinic because it was raining quite vigorously today. I took care of what I needed to, and when walking out of the band room I caught a glimpse of my name on a flyer. Mrs. Eddington posted a flier advertising that I would be in charge of the clinic along with the date and time. It was kind of weird to see that. I later talked to some bandies about it and apparently I'm known. I didn't even go to school with half the kids in band anymore, but apparently people still know who I am. I have wondered if any of my hard work for the band and individual students on and off the field ever amounted to anything, but just that I was asked to do this and that I found out how much some of the band students have looked up to me, I guess it did. I'm not saying I was perfect or by any means the best, but I like to think that the biggest thing that I did was care, not about being in a position of leadership or power, but I honestly loved each and every one of the students. I kind of joke that marching band is the only true love in my life I have ever had, but to some degree that's true.

Tonight the clinic went a longer than I expected because there were nearly twice as many students planning to audition than I expected. I want to be an educator for kids this age, and as a former drum major I want to share the best of everything that I know with these kids. I want to make the decision tough, and I know that it can be. Each of the students made tremendous progress just in the hour that we practiced together. It went so long that I think we only got halfway finished. We're going to do the rest tomorrow. Part of this whole experience solidified to me that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life it teach kids like this. I know this sounds cheesy, but I can see the potential that each of them has bursting from behind their eyes, and if they can see it too, this year will be awesome.

The biggest thing that I think happened today is what I did for myself. After time and time again and four new medications just since being home, I am more desperate and more driven than ever to find something that will help me to feel as if my life can be something beautiful in my eyes and the eyes of God. I know in my head that it can be and it is, but I just haven't felt it in so long. I haven't felt pure happiness in over a month. Today I was fortunate to have the chance to spend time doing something that I love and haven't done for a very long time. I'm taking baby steps, but along with other habits I'm trying to instigate, I feel like I am moving forward. I might be taking baby scoots, but I'm moving forward to feel love again in my life.

Hrmmm....

So, I've really been wanting to post something of substance, but part of me wants to wait until it is me writing and not my other self. But then again, putting it out, organizing it into coherent flow of thought could be theraputic...

This statement was and is not intended to provoke comments from readers, but please feel free if you do feel so inclined. It's mostly so I don't feel as if I've neglected, given up, or forgotten one more thing from my life.

Hi, I'm Kimberlee Franson, and I approve this message... I think.

Hi.

Hi, my name is Kimberlee, and I am fighting the ability to wake up in the morning. I am fighting for the will to take care of myself on the outside to help me feel good on the inside, and I am fighting the ability to see what others see about the person I am inside. I am fighting to like myself. I am fighting to be what I can be and do something productive every day. I am fighting to make my mind feel light and know that I am really doing what I can.
I am fighting for the opportunity to feel sad. I am fighting for the chance to feel happy, angry, excited. I am fighting for ability to cry. I am fighting to not feel constant guilt about everything I do, everything I say. I am fighting to taste food, and for it to taste good. I am fighting to be able to feel warm, to not feel restless. I am fighting to have a balanced life.
I am fighting to feel passion in my life. I am fighting so I can care about something. I am fighting to find satisfaction in my work and things I accomplish. I am fighting to be able to focus and concentrate. I am fighting to be able to remember things that I read, things I am taught. I am fighting to be able to remember what I did two days ago, even yesterday or earlier this morning without needing to think hard about it for at least five minutes.
I am fighting daily headaches, muscle aches, back aches. I am fighting the ugly, physical, and painful feeling that I can even feel inside my head, in my mind. I am fighting to not feel the desire to throw up every day. I am fighting to not have thoughts of wanting pain. I am fighting so I can know that I have a chance, that I have a life and a future, and that it matters.
I am fighting those who don't understand and don't care to. I am fighting the misconception that I'm only fighting perpetual sadness. I'm fighting those who look at me and say, "Buck up! You're only putting this on yourself. Take a pill and get over it," or, "The only thing you need to do is read your scriptures and pray and go to church and all of your problems will go away," or, "I know how you feel, and this is what I did to overcome it. Why haven't you found some way to overcome it?" I'm fighting the urge to deck those people in the face then and there. Believe me, I would. And I could.
I'm fighting those who feel like they need to feel sorry for me, to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me. I am fighting for the simple concept of a true friendship, for people who love me for everything that I am and aren't scared or freaked out. I'm fighting because I want to be treated like a person, not a disease.
I am fighting the ability to take action that works. I'm fighting the feeling of knowing exactly what's wrong, when it's getting worse, but still not being able to do anything about it. I am fighting the knowledge that this pain I feel isn't going to go away in a few hours, a few days, a few weeks. I am fighting the feeling of ultimate hopelessness and despair.
I am fighting to feel love, not to just have a knowledge it exists. I am fighting to want to do good things, right things. I am fighting for the chance to feel the Spirit of God like I used to.
Hi, my name is Kimberlee. I am fighting severe depression and anxiety disorder.

A young old prude.

Why am I so serious?

Because I believe in respect for others.
It really bothered me in high school when students would refer to teachers only by their last name. I was taught and still believe that I should address all my superiors and acquaintanced by their correct titles unless instructed otherwise. In cases where this kind of respect is not present, I have observed that there is a lack of structure and discipline and the opportunity to learn or gain something from this individual is compromised.

Because I trust people.
I believe that every person on Earth has a piece of God inside of them. People are born that way; they just left His presence. I find it extremely disappointing to hear of and see people using their agency given by Him to make poor decisions. For this reason, I use my agency to do my best to judge righteously and choose carefully those with whom I associate. Recently I have found that I need to be more cautious still. I don't lie and I want people to trust me, so I do what I can to extend the same courtesy.

Because I believe in people.
Again with number two: God is in everyone and everything. The potential of any given human being is truly unlimited, but restricted only by one's self. If one person takes a stand, there is almost a complete surety that someone else feels the same way. Often the only thing needed is courage. Fear not.

Because I love my family.
I have had no greater friends, no greater support system than my family. I could not trade any given moment good or bad that we have experienced together, because I know that it is those things that have made me the person that I am. Noted, I do wish many times that some lessons I could have learned differently, but I didn't, and those are often the most important lessons.

Because I love my Heavenly Father.
Simply put, He gives me everything. Not one thing done, not one smile smiled, not one tear shed, not one breathtaking moment felt is without Him. To hear those that defend Him be disrespected is to me, well.... beyond words of disgusting.

We are extremely blessed witht the ability to feel and have emotion. Not one person thinks the same way, not one person feels the same way even in exact same environmental conditions and replicated situations. Just because you feel that something is not important does not mean that it should be discarded. Nor must you hold yourself of higher dignity because you take something more serious than someone else. These are just pieces of me. Other pieces include the fact that I love spontanaety, I love to sing, to dance, to smile, and to simply enjoy another friend's company. I love to live and experience all that I can because my life here is but a small moment.

Read at your own risk. Really.

So on facebook there is this really funny page called Overheard @ BYU where students and such post funny things that they heard people and professors say on campus. I made the wall last weekend. And apparently I made it good- it's been posted at least four times. I'm not sure how to take this. I know that there are people that are actually trying to make the wall, hoping someone else will post what they said. The whole thing is supposed to be annonymous.
At any rate, here's what happened: my professor for bio 100 was gone last Friday, so the TA had to teach the lecture and get through the slides. Our current topic is genetics. That day in particular, we were talking about probability and genetics and inherited diseases and genes. Prior to this, we talked about meiosis. We never referred to it any other way. So, speaking in terms and ideas of genetics, probability, and inheritance, I asked the following question, "So what's so bad about close relatives doing.....the, uh... whole meiosis thing?" I didn't know how else to say it without sounding scandalous or causing young adult hormones to rage even more and get into a more sexual discussion. Funny how the use of one word can do that. I just wanted to know what goes scientifically wrong in situations like that. Needless to say the WHOLE class laughed. Loudly. I have never actually felt so red in my life. The TA didn't quite know how to answer. One dear classmate nearby leans over and says, "So in other words, ask Professor Stevens when he gets back." Yeah... I'd love to put myself up for complete and utter embarrassment another time. Pass. I just decided to let it go. I can promise that it won't be on any exam in that class.
I knew it in my gut that I would make the wall and it would sound like I was an incest-loving daft clueless BYU co-ed. Once found, I did post as my facebook status that I was quoted on Overheard @ BYU, but I wasn't quite sure or ready if I wanted to say which one. NOT wanting people to go and figure out which one was mine, NOT wanting people to ask so I would tell them. But it is certainly more interesting than complaining about homework or bragging about my significant other (which I don't have anyway...). I was a little more than baffled when someone really had enough time to decided to take time to sift through and figure it out. I did mention that I was on the wall twice that day, and I turned out to be the only one, which is actually rare. So yes, this is my fess up. And last I checked, the quote has been posted at least four times. The only other quote or story that I see that's up multiple times is in reference to some guy who proposed to a girl on campus using a CTR ring. I guess if it's right and they're happy.... Only at BYU.

Only in Utah....

I thought about sharing a snippet of this experience in my facebook status, but I decided it was too long, so I suppose I'll put something here.

This weekend, I had the chance to go home over the holiday. I'll spare the details and hopefully get more pictures and information from my short vacation soon. Among other things, I got a new cell phone. The old one that I had was beat. I was none too gentle with it, but it was practically indestructable anyway. And during it's final months, it was held together with neon blue duct tape. I was fortunate enough to have parents that love me and I convinced them to let me get a nice phone. I have to pay the required internet service fee every month which sucks because I carry my laptop around campus and get free wi-fi whenever and wherever I want! That's the only thing that my mom and dad and I don't like. But I really like the phone. I plan on keeping it for a looooonnnggg time.

So this evening I was playing with some of the gadgets trying to figure it all out and I got a notice: "Initial Programming Required." I was confused, so I called verizon customer service to figure out the problem. I entered my phone number, my password, told them what I needed, and finally was connected to a real person in tech support. The funny thing was, he was confused as to why I had to sort of re-activate my phone. It worked all day yesterday and today but it just changed its mind I guess. Through the strictly business converstation he made a speech mistake and just threw it off and said it was late and he still had quite a few hours to go. I somewhat sympathize with telemarketers; I was in the business for about two or three weeks and I hated every minute of it and I know that the people on the other end didn't like me all that much either. Anyway, still trying to get to the bottom of the mystery, he asked me if I was still in Blackfoot, where the phone was purchased and activated. I told him that I was in Blackfoot yesterday, obviously, but I was currently in Provo, Utah. "Oh really?" he said, "I'm in Salt Lake!" Funny how that works, isn't it? We ended up having a short conversation about BYU and Utah and Idaho and the U and college and even ice cream... it was kinda nice and I could tell it made him a little happier. We actually talked for about 20 minutes or more I think, not including about the phone. He did explain that changing location affected my phone, because in Idaho I was using Alltell signals through Verizon, but in Provo, as he said, back in civilization, I was going just off Verizon towers. Made sense to me. So he gave me a quick number I could dial on my cell phone and even told me exactly which options to take to get it all fixed. Good customer service!

I of course was pleased to get my phone all dandyfull and just the way I like it, but it also brightened my night a little too to have just a casual, relaxed converstion with someone else. So, somewhere in the Verizon technical support staff, I guess I have a friend :)

Ha!

So... stereotypical BYU college co-ed. I was thinking that I needed a different background for my blog (which I harldy write in anyway, as you can see). Actually I was going to make a post, a rather sad one, but the drab background got me distracted and good thing too! I surfed around other blogs that I knew of. Didn't find anything....didn't find anything... nothin. Until this one! BAM! It was golden. Beautiful. Trouble is, this one didn't work like the others. It took me a little while to get the instructions right, but I did it! And then my blog title was misaligned... and everything was gray and blech. So, ctrl + F looking for 'colors.' A hint on google blog search! I need to go in and change the HTML by myself! Great. lots of numbers, dashes and cocodiles (the little <> I was taught in first grade that they're like crocodiles and eat the bigger/fatter number). So I carefully start going through find again, reading carefully. And then I start to play! There's this nifty little w3schools.com website that can teach you how to work HTMLs! VICTORY! Well... at least I read enough to get a tiny bit of info. I'll be more thorough later. When I have more time. And there's a color chart! I can change my colors! cool. Still working on how to change a few items though; they are under different names or sub stanzas in the HTML. But, I GOT IT TO WORK!! For a small part!! I feel schmardt. I think I like the fonts; I'll stick with them. Colors and links.... could use more work. Especially links. I didn't want to mess with those quite yet. But isn't it pretty?!?!?! I hope there are computers in heaven so I can take this knowledge with me into the next life and not have is be for naught. Mom-- YOUR'S IS NEXT!! Mwahahaha!!!

Doctrine and Covenants 130:18-19
"Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.
And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the adcantage in the world to come."

I guess this means that I should also do my homework.... and not just smelf smart myself. Youtube that. Smelf smart myself. Just like that. Gosh, I'm on one right now. Ciao tutti! Vi voglio bene!!

Potato, tomato, potate, pomodoro

So living in the Italian House definitely has its perks :) My roommates are FABULOUS and everyone eats well at least five nights a week among other things. However, just as in any language, the learning process is a little rough, especially since I am one of the few in the entire complex that speaks only two languages, Italian being my second. Thus, there are instances like the following:
Dinner time (cena: CHAY-nuh). We were having spaghetti and of course, with nearly any pasta dish and italians, there is much cheese. So I asked in italian, "Passare il pomeriggio." I got a few strange looks, and then someone noticed what I was gesturing for. I said it again, "Passare il pomeriggio, per favore?" wondering if it would get passed if I said please. Then someone said, "Passare cosa?" (pass what?) and I again replied, "Pomeriggio!" And the whole table began to laugh. The word for cheese is FORMAGGIO. Pomeriggio means afternoon. I was asking someone to pass the afternoon. And now, in my honor, no one calls it formaggio anymore in the casa italiana. They call it pomeriggio. And now a few people from the Portuguese house say it too.
Cena, round two. We were having small steaks, and the House is supposed to provide many of the kitchen ammenities like plates, utinsels, pots, pans, etc., but apparently no one has gotten around to buying steak knifes. I had a butter knife, and my efforts to manneristically cut and eat my meat were in vain. So I asked if someone had a cavallo, what I thought was knife. A reaction similar to the one above happened. I asked if they had a horse. Cotello is knife.
And at the very beginning of the semester, which has also not been lived down, was after cena when we had ice cream (gelato: jell-AHT-oh) for desert (dolce: DOLE-chay). Mind, this was VERY early in the semester, and I've only just begun to learn the language. My roommate asked me, in italian, which kind I wanted. I wanted one scoop of each, but I didn't know how to say it. So, I said, "Uno.... scoopo... of each?" Which of course is wrong. I suppose I was feeling desperate. Again, everyone laughed. At least all of these moments are funny to me too. So, the right way to say one scoop of each (and I only just looked this up because I don't know how to say 'scoop') is: Un mestolo di tutti e due. (oon mest-ole-o dee too-tee ay doo-ay).
At any rate, the italian is coming. Slower than actually living in Italy because I go to school in English, but it's definitely helping. And right now, I have two chapters of homework to do before tomorrow morning. Allora, Ciao i miei amici e mia cara famiglia. Padre Celeste e guarda tutti di noi. I love you all :) ~Kimberlì.

Thank you so much is not enough.

I was going to write something entirely different, but I was blessed to be reminded that there are still some outstanding people out there, the kind that really will do anything to put a smile back on your face.
For those of you who read this, and as far as I know, it is my mother, sometimes a cousin or two, and an old mentor from band years past, I have my moments. Tonight was one of my moments and I am struggling with what I really am going to do with my life and how it is going to be, particularly over the next month or two. I took time tonight to play the piano and let my energy flow out from my fingertips. It's better than smashing my favorite mug, which I was tempted to do...
Anyway, eventually through my thoughts, I found myself kneeling at the piano bench in the common room, praying. I was just finishing when one of my friends from the Spanish house walked through. I haven't really talked to him very much at all, but he was kind enough of course to ask if I was ok. I nodded, choking over words and tears. I turned to leave, and he asked me for a hug. If he knows it or not, he was definitely a small answer to my prayer. I go home, feeling a little better, still thinking. I sit down on the couch with my scriptures, journals, and a bit of homework. Then someone knocks on the door, but all my roommates are home. It's close to midnight at this point. I open the door and there he is with a pitcher and something in it. He told me that whenever he feels upset, two things always help: the scriptures and a smoothie. He had gone back to his apartment and made me a strawberry-banana smoothie. I was so shocked and impressed at the same time that I'm still not sure what to say but mumble thank you and give him another hug. It's people like him that make this world one worth living in.

2 Nephi 32:8-9
"And now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that ye ponder still in your hearts; and it grieveth me that I must speak concerning this thing. For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.
But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance my be for the welfare of thy soul."

Che cosa???

So as many of you may know, I am actually living in Foreign Language Student Residence (FLSR) this fall. Many people ask me, "Why Italian?" and wonder what I can do with it. I take it because I love it and I have always wanted to. I don't want to be one of those people down the road who wish they would have learned this or taken a certain class in college and never did. It is such a beautiful language and I really do see this as a great privilege and opportunity to learn it and participate in such a unique program. I moved in earlier this week with the help of my mother and sister and I am still calling them up to find where they put certain things. I still haven't found my grapes I bought....
I also have the special and divine privilege to be ROOM roommates with the Resident Facilitator (RF), who speaks fluent Italian after serving a mission. She is basically the person who helps and supervises the rest of us to make sure we are always speaking in Italian and helps us with anything else we may need. She has been such an awesome help to me and already I have learned so much and found that I know at least a little more than I think I do. The program is very well organized and layed out; we can only speak Italian in the apartment to each other and also to the boys in the Italian house. Church is in English for Sacrament and Relief Society, but Sunday School is in Italian. The Sacrament Prayer is spoken in a different language each week (today was Spanish). We are not supposed to watch any English television or movies aside from the news. Five nights a week, Sunday through Thursday, we are to attend dinner group with both Italian houses and engage in Italian conversation.
So today, the boys of the Italian house were so kind as to invite us over for lunch after church. The boy's RF I believe is straight off the boat Italian and is very friendly. We of course introduced ourselves, said where we were from and what our major was. I must say that there are some points where I feel incredibly lost and this was one of them. Following dinner we played 2 Truths and a Lie. I think it went ok. Whenever I was asked a question, I just made a statement and hoped that it was the answer to what I was asked. And I wanted to say some things at one point, but didn't know how. And several times I leaned over to the person next to me and whispered "cosa?" meaning "what?" I do have my moments wondering what in the world I have done, but then I get back to the comfort of my own apartment and study and try to talk to some of my roommates and feel much better. And I'm not the only one with limited Italian experience; one of the girls hasn't taken any classes yet. All in all, I must say that I am having most likely one of the best experiences I will have in my entire life. I do pray for help from the Lord, and I also am having a growing faith in the belief of the gift of tongues!